I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
