I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
