I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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