he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
