if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
