I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
