some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
