You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
