So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am puke
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
