I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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