And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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