did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I would fuck him just for his dog
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize