Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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