they need to just BURY HIM!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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