you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it because I queefed?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
