at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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