btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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