i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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