For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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