update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
