I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
