That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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