she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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