Apparently you make a good broom.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
