What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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