clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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