her vagine was all disorganized.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
