on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
