my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
