just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
