Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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