if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
