Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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