Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
