ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize