I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
