I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
