i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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