At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
