My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
