I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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