she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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