this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have fence marks all over my body
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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