After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
