Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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