and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
