Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's like heaven, but drunker
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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