Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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