I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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