Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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