Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
