i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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