i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
