Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
