Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Operation Purity has been aborted
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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