Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
