i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
