we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
