After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
