i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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