I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
