I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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