You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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