Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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