Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
