Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
