I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize