wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You don't make any sense
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