Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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